Funky Fondue for Frugal Foodies

An oldie but a goodie, how about a recipe for a foodie paradise that you not only won't have to be a culinary guru to compose, but it also won't take too much of a dent out of your pocketbook.

Originally published in Volume 46, Issue 7 of The Clackamas Print

"Eat, Print, Love: Funky Fondue for Frugal Foodies"

Written by Anna Axelson, Wednesday, Nov. 21, 2012

Black light posters, beaded curtains, art deco furniture and sitar music isn’t the only way to enjoy a retro classic meal of molten cheese, dippable delights and diners armed with long, tiny pronged forks. Nor is it required to trek out to Gustav’s or the Melting Pot, unless you truly feel like spending your hard earned financial aid dollars on a gourmet take and ambiance.

Funky Fondue
2-3 cans cheddar cheese soup
1-2 small blocks of cheese*
3-5 cloves of garlic
1/4 tsp mustard powder
salt and pepper (to taste)
milk (as needed)

Believe it or not, there’s an easy and affordable way to have your friends clamor around a warmed carafe of oozing goodness for an interactive entrée; luckily Eat, Print, Love is to the rescue with an amazingly easy recipe for you to give a taste.

*While any of the usual suspects will do swimmingly with this recipe (cheddar, Swiss, Monterey jack, mozzarella, pepper jack), it’s also a chance to pay a visit to somewhere like Grocery Outlet that occasionally features several less traditional cheeses at a cost considerably less than most local super markets such as havarti and feta.

Funky Fondue
Dippables**
French, rye and wheat bread,
pretzels, soft pretzels
crackers, chips, croutons
Lil’ Smokies, kielbasa, salami
carrots, cauliflower, celery
black olives
apples

**“Dippables” refers to pretty much anything and everything you could possibly want to drown within your creamy, cheesy concoction.

In a midsize sauce pan or even a small slow cooker, free the cheddar cheese soup from its tin confines and slowly stir in roughly half a can of milk, garlic and mustard powder. Warm over medium heat – do not let it boil and stir frequently. Once the soup has warmed through, add roughly half the cheese (shredded or small cubes make the melting process easier) and continue stirring until cheese has reached creamy goodness.

Using the additional shredded or cubed cheese and balancing it with a tablespoon at a time of milk, stir until reaching a slight elasticity, adding more milk if it begins to resemble something more suiting to a pizza topping, and adding more cheese if it’s too thin to coat a spoon when dipped.

Using a small chunk of bread (best if left open for a few hours to get a little crispy and better able to withstand the drenching power of the dip), sample your brew, adding salt and pepper to taste.

At this point, it’s all about keeping it warm while people are chowing down. It’s time to transfer your molten mix into a classic fondue pot, traditionally either electric or perched above a candle or Sterno can. If using a slow cooker, the crock pot can easily just be transferred to the dining room table as a centerpiece and you’re good to go.

Break out the fondue forks and pile all your dippables into bowls, platters or straight from the package and let your friends loose.

Part of the fun of fondue is the convention, the rules. First, don’t double dip. Next, be mindful of dripping. Last and most important, don’t drop your dippable into the cheese (consequences may vary based on your social circle).

Lean, green, healthy bean

Originally printed in The Clackamas Print,
Volume 44, Issue 23, Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Photo by Anna Axelson, May 2011

Green beans, string beans, snap beans; whatever you want to call them, you don’t have to climb up Jack’s beanstalk to get them.

Though green beans are available year-round, their season peaks between May and September, making now the perfect time to pay special attention to the produce aisle of your local supermarket.  When selecting the perfect green bean, you’ll want to look for a long, stiff yet flexible bean that gives a nice snap sound when broken (hence the alias “snap beans”).

In addition to being quite tasty and the most popular edible pod bean in the United States, green beans have numerous nutritious factors that make them that much more appealing. The green bean is a source of many members of the vitamin alphabet (including A, B and C) as well as several antioxidants, fiber and minerals like iron, calcium, magnesium and potassium.  They’re also free of fat, saturated fat, sodium and cholesterol. Could you really ask for a better vegetable?

Green beans are so much more versatile than your traditional Thanksgiving green bean casserole.  They are sold canned, frozen and fresh and have been battered, fried, dried, canned, pureed and even used in tempura dishes.

Boiling, steaming, baking and even microwaving are popular methods of cooking green beans; however stir-frying preserves the best qualities of the fresh and healthy bean. Green beans can be cooked whole, cut crosswise, diagonally or French-cut (lengthwise); though if you want sweet-tasting, crisp  beans, cut them as little as possible.

Blackened Garlic Green Beans

Photo by Anna Axelson, May 2011

Ingredients:

• One pound of fresh green beans
• One or two cloves of garlic
• One tablespoon of olive oil
• Salt and pepper to taste

Instructions:

1. Begin by rinsing the green beans under cold water and breaking off each end.

2. Bring a pan of salted water to a boil and in handful-sized batches, blanch the green beans for four to five minutes or until tender.  Drain green beans thoroughly, rinsing under cold water to halt the cooking process.  Mince the garlic.

3. Over medium heat, preheat a frying pan and pour in a tablespoon or so of olive oil, moving the pan around to coat the bottom well.

4. Add the garlic to the hot oil.  When the garlic has slightly begun to sweat and take on a little color, add the green beans to the pan.  Sprinkle salt and pepper to taste and cook, stirring frequently until green beans begin to blacken.

5. Remove from heat and transfer your simple yet yummy creation to a serving platter. All that’s left is to stand back and enjoy the “oohs” and “aahs” that emit from your family and friends as they set their eyes and stomachs upon this beautiful side dish.

Food, Glorious Food: A Recipe Rant

“Oh, food. Wonderful food. Marvelous food. Glorious food.” –Oliver Twist

Photo by Anna Axelson, November 2010

A constant truth: people will always need food. A curious question: why can’t we enjoy it? As an amateur foodie, I am not an authority, but maybe I can be a voice of reason telling you that it may not be as difficult as you think.

Inspiration/frustration, thy name is “cookbook.” Who needs a recipe? Well, chances are, we all do, but how helpful is it really? No matter how many times we follow the directions on the back of a bag of chocolate chips, the cookies always turn out a little different. Chewy, crumbly, sweeter, saltier; it’s a bit of a crapshoot, so why not make it your own?

Truth be told, a recipe is just a list of ingredients, guidelines, a map. What does “softened butter” or “cream the sugars” even mean? Does it make a difference? Try it and find out!

The ongoing, perhaps even endless venture that is the search for perfection when it comes to recipes is addicting. Like a Lay’s potato chip (“I bet you can’t eat just one…”), time and time again we go back and do it again. A pinch of this, a dash of that, a smidgen of this other thing, all for an end result that prompts “oohs” and “aahs” from the peanut gallery. Yet, no matter how hard we try, it isn’t perfect and even if it was, who’s to say the miracle can be repeated. A blend of joy and dissatisfaction reign and we try again. 

The true recipe is more than just a list of ingredients; it’s time, effort, passion, and technique that bring everything together. The only way to exactingly recreate someone else’s culinary masterpiece is to actually BE them and have been the one to make it. Interpretation is inevitable: make the best of it. To quote a cliché (because clichés are clichés for a reason), it’s not the destination, but the journey, that is important and worth relishing in. 

Photo by Anna Axelson, November 2010

While there are very few things that can top the perfection that is a classic chocolate chip cookie, I typically find it hard to resist taking some of my own liberties with the recipe. Cocoa powder, oats, peanut butter, orange extract, pretzels, cereal, every kind of baking chip under the sun, even a can of pumpkin: the list of things I have tossed into that simple batter for the sake of experimentation goes on and on. Taking a slight risk resulted in a touch that made it mine and if nothing else, interesting. 

Take this lesson to heart: just because the recipe tells you to do something, doesn’t mean you have to do it. My challenge to you is this: take that recipe and make it yours. When it comes to baking, some things have to be more precise, but that doesn’t mean we can’t play with the flavor. Even if we never find out how to make the ideal chocolate chip cookie, we can rest assured that the quest will be a worthwhile and tasty one.

"Italian-French" Bread

“Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian, wine and tarragon make it French, sour cream makes it Russian, lemon and cinnamon make it Greek, soy sauce makes it Chinese, garlic makes it good.” - Alice May Brock

What makes French bread, “French”?  Considering the Italian ciabatta bread encompasses essentially the same ingredients, I can’t say it’s the ingredients.  Also, while technique may differ in some French kitchens between some recipes and others, technique differs some in ALL kitchens simply because naturally, people do things differently; so I can’t say it’s the technique.  Again, I just have to ask: what is the definitive answer to my oh so simple question? 

After a healthy amount of research, scowering recipe after recipe, opinion after opinion, not to mention a few sleepless nights, I can confidently say with the utmost certainty… that I have absolutely no clue other than to say that French bread is French because it was initially made in France.  (This begs the question of course as to whether or not it should be called “American bread” when it is made in America, but then again, that opens its own can of worms and I digress.)

I once dreaded yeast breads, having the patience of a flea, but somewhere along the line the desire to find grander fields then that in which quick breads offered and I entered this wonderful world and was welcomed within its “poofy” embrace.  This is my own recipe, a labor of love, named “Italian” for its flavors and “French” because, as they say, “don’t fix something that ain’t broke.”  

Ingredients

1 tbsp sugar

2¼ cups warm water

1 tsp table salt

(or 2 tsp kosher salt)

1¼ tbsp dry active yeast

1 tbsp olive oil (or vegetable oil)

Garlic powder

Fresh ground pepper

Oregano flakes

Parsley flakes
1-3 cloves of garlic, roughly chopped

6¼ cups flour

Begin by dissolving the sugar in the warm water; a few moments of stirring should do the trick.  Sprinkle the yeast over the surface of the water and let sit for 5-8 minutes or until yeast has “poofed,” creating a layer of foam.  Gently stir in the salt, olive oil and then seasoning to taste add the garlic, garlic powder, pepper, oregano, and parsley flakes.  Add 2 cups of the flour and mix well.  

Commit to getting a little messy, forgo the spoon and gradually add the rest of the flour.  Knead with the fervor of a purring kitten until you end up with a smooth ball of dough that doesn’t stick to your fingers and bounces back when given a gentle “Pillsbury Doughboy” poke.  Coat the inside of a bowl with olive oil  (or vegetable oil) and drop in your ball of dough, rolling it around and flipping it over to coat.  Cover with a dish towel and let rise in a warm, dark place for an hour and a half.

"Pioneer Women," I Love Lucy. March 31, 1952.

It’s at this point that I always pause and picture that episode of “I Love Lucy” in which Lucy and Ethel, during one of their famous bets, bake a loaf of bread.  If you remember the episode, you’ll also remember that they completely misjudged how much yeast the recipe called for and end up in a scene worthy of any 1950s sci-fi thriller.  This mental image always causes me to think back and reevaluate just how much yeast I used.

After passing the time as you so please (three whole episodes of “I Love Lucy” will do the trick) the dough should have doubled in size and you are ready to work with it.  Separate the dough into two pieces and shape roughly into “loaf” shape (this is pretty much up to you; want round, go round, want long, go long). Place each loaf a few inches apart on a lightly greased or cornmeal dusted cookie sheet.  Once again cover with a dish towel and set aside to rise for another tedious 45 minutes (or another episode and a half).

Again the dough will have grown, a science experiment in action, and you will next need to pre-heat your oven to a toasty 425 degrees.  With a sharp knife, lightly slash diagonal lines across the top of each loaf (room to grow, so to say).  Place an oven safe ramekin with water on the cookie sheet or another rack to help prevent the bread from drying out while baking.  Bake for thirty minutes or until golden brown.

In my experience, a bread knife creates more mess than it’s worth, so I rely on my trusted and preferable chef’s knife to slice the heat kissed goodness that is a fresh, home baked loaf of bread.  So after what seems like another long, but last eternity (at least fifteen to twenty minutes) the bread is ready to slice, so do just that and serve how you please.  Bon appétit!